The brain, is an intriguing and complex organ (I know little about it so that's all I can really accurately say about it.) My brain particularly; however, is rather...unique. This is not to say that yours is not, though mine is unique from yours. To avoid getting all intellectual about it (oh, sweet irony) and in some cases, theological, I'll get on with my downright cockamamie, and absurdly random thought.
My brain has the greatly inconvenient difficulty, borderline incapability of turning off. No, I do not mean that I am nearly immortal/incapable of dying. I refer to the shutting down process a normal human's brain experiences in order to put an individual to sleep and rest and recuperate.
What in the world does that mean?
Well, this means that I, when trying to make my way toward bedtime and drift off into dreamland, my brain suddenly experiences a degree of hyper-arousal, or "a state of increased psychological and physiological tension." Simply put, I can't mentally find a stopping point to my day. Medical experts say this is typically acquired after an exceptionally stressful or traumatizing event, major life changes, or alteration in health- all of these I've happened to experience over the past year and a half.
So, here are some of the thousands of random thoughts/unrests that run through my mind on a nightly basis when attempting slumber:
10:20 pm
I'm tired.
Ugh, the bed is a mess. *makes bed
I'm going to bed now *crawls into freshly made bed *stares at ceiling for a half hour
I'm uncomfortable *strips bed completely and changes sheets.
Much better... It's too quiet. *Turns on Christmas music and Christmas lights.
I need to call the maintenance guy tomorrow *set TO DO alarm on phone for following day
I need to sew that hole in Aaron's shirt *Sets TO DO alarm on phone for following day
I'm working tomorrow afternoon *sets TO DO alarm on phone for following day
11:30pm
*ends up writing TO DO list on paper with many more miniscule tasks that don't really need to be done soon, but probably at some point within my remaining time on earth.
I'm tired. *goes back to bed
I didn't like dinner. I should note the recipe and avoid it again *end up journaling for a half hour about everything *writes separate list of blog ideas *writes separate list of story ideas
I need to reply to that letter *writes letter
This Christmas music is too cheery for sleep *turns off radio, turns on nature sounds on iPod
I'm cold *layers in hoodie, sweats, knee-high socks
I'm hot *kicks off covers and strips hoodie
I'm cold *pulls covers back up
1:30 am
I forgot to workout today *does shortened routine
I want to read the next Grimm fairy tale. *reads next Grimm fairy tale.... ends up reading next 5 fairy tales
3:30 am
I should sleep *passes out in bed, wakes up 3 or 4 times throughout night, awakens early in the morning when husband returns from work, falls back asleep, wakes up again for real.
You get the picture. This puts bedtime usually at about 3 am with multiple wake up times throughout the night plus early rising times. Though irritating and dismally tiresome, I find a dorky humor in it all. I have to in order to avoid deeper frustration. (It's about 2:07am as I type now.) And now that I am beginning to drowse again, I completely forget my train of thought. I guess that's it for this one.
http://www.medlink.com/medlinkcontent.asp
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